Saturday, October 31, 2009

Confidence Misplaced...

For the first time in a long time I find myself crying, feeling like I'm going nowhere. I don't want this post to sound like I'm ranting; this is more like me trying to voice something out that I might not be able to share with people around me.

Music and Fashion have both been my refuge in life, though I wasn't ever blessed with an opportunity or support to receive training to pursue my dreams. I was just the type of person that would pick up an instrument and with no instruction could create a song, or pick up a piece of paper and draw a sketch of a gown and try reproducing it for my dolls.

Now, I confront myself with reality. A frightening place where everyone has been doing what they love since forever and have training in their instruments; and I feel a little left behind. Though yes, I have been singing since I could speak, I lack real musical training. I do know theory and such but there is so much more to know that I feel overwhelmed at times. And at times I feel I'm a lot less than everyone else. I thought real talent was enough, but I guess I was wrong.

Sometimes I wish I had a fairy godmother to make it all right...
Because my confidence is misplaced.
Since it's Halloween tonight here in the U.S., I want to magically vanish all my fears away with pictures of beautiful fairies and whimsical creatures...
Thanks you guys for hearing me out.
Hope you are all having a sweet weekend...


  1. Although you have a good point, you can never give up. Talent will always give you more oportunities than just training that anyone can get. Individual talent is unique to who you are and these days there are more people who are looking for real talent and interest in what they do, rather than just someone who can go through the motions.
    I definately think you can find more confidence in being unique than just being what everyone else is.

    Hope your spirits will be lifted soon!

  2. i really don't want to say the wrong things... i think deep down you do know that talent is no really enough. the tragedy is not only not using the gift but also leaving it stagnant. i hope you get what i'm trying to say. stories about greats who fall and notsogreats who rise out of sheer hardwork abound. i think it's good that you're confronting it instead of wishing it away. press on.

  3. i do understand how it feels girl. life is like a marathon, the farther the first runner has gone, the better and the easier for the next runners to get ahead. some people are blessed to have their parents gotten ahead, and yet, not everyone that is left behind stays behind. they can still take over and get ahead. it might be hard, for it means exerting more energy, effort and speed, but it isn't impossible.

    i say this by experience. keep working hard and don't lose faith.

  4. I think creative people have the hardest time because they are creative. Having a 'talent' is so much harder to turn into a 'real life something' than just having 'skills'. I think the fact that this 'misplaced confidence' is a rare thing for you to experience says a lot about how strong you really are. Everyone needs to let go for a few moments from time to time...I'm sure you will 're-group', remember what is important for you, and do what you have to do to overcome your obsticles.
    Good luck and don't give up.

  5. -awh, im sorry your feeling this way. but everything happens for a reason and when one door closes another one opens(: i hope your feeling better.
    pretty pictures.

  6. uuu like that (:

    xx cody

  7. Aww, I hope everything gets better soon!

  8. I hope you feel better soon.

  9. hey ive been in the same boat
    don't give up and thanks for sharing this

    I hope you feel better ^^

    *virtual hugs*
    I lvoe the pictures too

  10. Hope you feel better soon lovely, don't give up on your dreams - you only deserve the best and if singing is not meant to be I am sure there will be something else that will work better for you. Just hang in there and everything will work out. Beautiful pictures and here is a hug for you! XO!

  11. hi dear don't be sad ! i hope you feel better soon . and please don't give up ! :) thanks for sharing those beautiful pics !

  12. I hope you're feeling better now, and I think that it's good that you're confronting what you perceive to be your weaknesses, because now you know what to do if you want to be better. (Tlent + hard work is always the best possible combination) :)))

  13. hello's hun!!!!
    How I've missed your blog, I'm catching up on all your posts (I've been poorly, October was one rubbish month for me).

    I can't express enough just how much I can relate to this post of yours.
    Jeez its like flicking through the pages of my diary, it really is!
    All I can say is your obviously very very talented otherwise you wouldn't have achieved all you've achieved so far.Stick with your guns, and fingers crossed it will pay off some day for you X

    PS...If you ever visit the UK knock on my door hun, as we sound so similar :)

    PeAce & BoWs...
    prettyneons xXx

  14. *millions hugs to you*

    I think we all go through a stage in life where we feel lost and saddened by many events. but you are a strong and intelligent woman! so don't worry girl you will find your way and see the light again soon.

  15. i hope you feel better soon. At least now you have the opportunity to get the training you've always wanted! It's never too late. In artistic fields, while training helps, talent and passion is what causes people to rise to the top. Keep your chin up!

  16. you speak with such honestly. i admire that. beautiful.

  17. I'm sorry! I can't really say much because I'm still really young and, well, in high school. But, I plan on following my dreams of pursuing fashion, but I think that I'm probably looking at it unrealistically. I'm really worried, but I think it's important to remember your passion and to stick with it!

    On the plus side, those photos are gorgeous!

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

  18. I know exactly what you mean. Reality is scary. But if it makes you feel better, I doubt anyone else really knows what they're doing either.

  19. The best way to go through life is to be bold. Have a good heart, be kind special and clever.

    But to fashion your dreams into your own you must plan the journey ahead of you, draw your map and check your progress, ask questions so that you are prepared for what might happen or could go wrong. When you draw out your journey this way you can dream big dreams and build the process that will work for you.
    Love, Victoria


“In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different.” ~Coco Chanel